Mind Over Money

“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don't make money your goal. Instead, pursue the things you love doing, and then do them so well that people can't take their eyes off you.” Maya Angelou

Yesterday was the beginning of an end for something I have battled for a very long time.  For as long as I can remember I have always shopped off the clearance racks, counted out 90 cents just to keep from breaking a dollar, and refused to buy things for myself.  Buying for others has never been a problem though, I can spend that money as if it wasn't my own.  However, when it comes to spending money that I don't think is absolutely necessary, or that I don't specifically NEED...or even when I do need for that matter...I feel this rush of panic.  I get dizzy, I feel faint, and I get very irritated.  I have been known to keep the same pair of jeans for years and years, just because I didn't want to spend the money to buy new ones.  I have met people with the reverse problem, spending too much money, but never anyone with my problem.  I am not really "stingy," I just always feel that my money can be spent in a better way or saved for some emergency that may take place in the future.  I thought that this was a very good thing; thought that it made me responsible.  However, it was brought to my attention yesterday that now is my time to live.  Now is my time to splurge on myself.  I may have children in the future and like most mothers I will strive to make sure they have all they want and need...and will not be spending money on myself.  So today is the day of change.  Kayla is going to start looking out for Kayla instead of everyone else.  I will still be addicted to buying "cheap" stuff, however, now I realize that it's okay a pair of white shoes AND a pair of black ones...and that I don't have to wait for the bottoms to fall off my shoes to buy new ones.  So, without even realizing it until now...I have made my New Years Resolution...to give myself a little more credit.