"...I'm going to be bald."

          "Mr. & Mrs. Britt, we have Kayla's results and we would like to speak to you outside," stated the head army of doctors at Duke University back in 2002.  "Whatever you have to tell us, you can tell her," my mother quickly replied.  The tests had been done, a week had slowly passed by as I tossed and turned in that hospital bed, many prayers had been sent up to God, and I was staring in the face of a woman who was about to give me news that would change the rest of my life.  "Kayla has systemic lupus...." For the next couple of seconds the room was anything but still, tears began to fall despite my desire to hold them back, my chest was so tight that I felt my next diagnosis would be a heart attack, and eventually I tuned back in to the conversation.  "Her kidneys are failing very quickly, chemotherapy is the only option at this point."  At eleven years old I only associated chemo with cancer, I didn't know any better.  I cried harder and louder and longer.  I couldn't take chemo, what about my hair? my friends? school? Could I possibly die?  The questions were running through my mind like a marathon but I couldn't get the words out.  Treatment started the next day...and I finally asked "How did I get cancer?"  To my surprise I found out that lupus isn't anywhere close to being cancer.  An autoimmune disease that can affect absolutely ANY part of the body and usually attacks atleast one organ, in my case my kidneys.  It works kind of like Rheumatoid Arthritis as far as pain goes...my joints hurt regularly, I have to take thirteen pills a day, and doctors offices are very familiar with me.
          I had to take two years worth of treatment.  I lost my hair within the first six months, and it was one of the funnest and most rewarding experiences I have ever had.  "When I come to school Monday, I'm going to be bald," I told all my friends on a Friday at lunch.  No one believed me.  They underestimated my strength.  Saturday morning I took a visit to the wig stop in Fayetteville, where I walked out with a shoulder-length blonde wig that I couldn't wait to show off.  Following the purchase we went back to my dad's barber shop and each person in my family got their turn of taking a streak of my hair off, I did the beginning honors myself.  I have tons of pictures and we even filmed it.  Honestly, it felt great!  It was light, easy to wash, didn't have to comb it, or style it, and the fact that I had the courage to do it without fear, without crying, and with a continuous smile on my face made me realize that lupus was indeed impacting everyday of my life, but not in the way I had expected.  "Take it off, I don't believe you," is what they all kept saying at school.  I just smiled and shook my head no, dying to show them but wanting them to live in suspense for a few hours.  After lunch I pulled it off, and everyone smacked their faces in disbelief.  I grinned as if I were showing off a trophy, because I had never met another girl my age who had shaved her head so proudly.  A week went by and that wig started making me sweat and itch and it just got too heavy for me to wear, so I started wearing fishermen-style hats.  Hair or not, it didn't matter to me.  By the time my eighth grade prom rolled around my hair had grown back just enough and in just the right time; God had everything planned out so perfect. And in 2004 I'll never forget the crowd of friends who joined me in the park after my last treatment for a "No More Chemo Party" that I planned for myself to say goodbye to something that both made me sick and made me better.
             I recall the doctors telling me that I most likely wouldn't graduate with my class.  I'd probably be a year or two behind since I had to miss so much school.  Number 32 in MY class of over 500, I showed them who was boss, God has never failed me.  When I finally decided where I would go to school and began to get everything in order they stared at me as if they couldn't believe I was going off to school.  I have lupus.  I have legs and hands and a brain.  I can understand.  I can read and write.  I am capable of doing anything anyone without a disease is capable of doing.  So, why wouldn't I go off to school?  Yes, I have pain.  No, it doesn't keep me down.  I take my medicine.  If it works, it works.  If not, I keep on going anyway.  I complain, not may of us can say that we don't.  I have my bad days, even the healthiest individuals do.  But I refuse to let a disease take over my body and destroy the dreams I have for my future.  With or without it, it is no bump in my road.  Lupus hasn't left my side, she's always here.  I have experienced more with her than I have with any person on this planet.  She keeps me company when I'm all alone.  She allows me to complain about her, to her.  She's really not as bad as you'd think...in fact, she's become my best friend.  Without lupus I wouldn't have the courage, strength, desire, or dedication that I have today.  God sure knew what he was doing when he chose me to be a fighter.  I am thankful that I could take someone else's spot as the patient, because it made me a better person.