Just when I thought time was beginning to slow down I blinked and the little boy who I've called my brother for over half of my life jumped from age 6 to 16 in what seems like a matter of months.
Sixteen years old. Calvin. This cannot be happening. The baby I used to give baths, the toddler I taught to swim, the Kindergartener that I taught to write his name in cursive, the third-grader who I coached and encouraged during EOG prep, the fifth-grader I helped with math assignments...has turned into the sixteen year old young man who will now take on the world without his big sister.
While I am excited about him getting his license a part of me is terrified. I won't be there to help him make his decisions, to tell him wrong from right, to confront him with consequences, to tell him not to text and drive, to tell him to wear his seat belt, and so on. I will not be there to threaten to take his car or to tell Momma. I remember Momma being the same way when I got my license- and I thought she was crazy. But, the truth is, I see my little brother as my own child. I was there to help raise him, to babysit him summer after summer (many of those summers in which he actually called me Momma), to stay up late on New Years and the Fourth of July to show him fireworks, to cook him chicken nuggets at midnight, and to teach him to drive the four-wheeler. Not taking away from Momma, because she never fails to give him what he wants or needs; but, I feel like he's mine too. And I definitely show it! Whether it be fussing at him about his report cards, telling him what he can and cannot put on Facebook, telling him to apologize when he's wrong but stand up for what he knows is right, and threatening to punish him in one way or another- most of the time I can put the fear of God in him. Well, more so when he was younger (he's become much more stubborn in his old age). But, I'm a sister too. I can fuss and fight with him- you cannot. I can tell him very bluntly about what I think of his actions/attitudes- you may not. And when he texts me about a girl....I'm the first to be completely honest about what I think of the little heffa. Yes, I said heffa. The day he becomes serious with a girl is the day I will be super excited for him, but the day she will meet one of the scariest females of her lifetime.
So while today is a very exciting day for him, it is a very emotional day for me. I have set out to be the best role model I can be, I have provided the best advice and encouragement that I could possibly think of, I have pushed him to be the best that he could be, I have begged him to do well in school and go to college, and
I have tried to be the best big sister I can be. From now on I can only hope that I have had some type of impact on his life. I can only hope that something I said will stay with him. I can only hope that my own battles have been an inspiration to him. And I can only hope that I have been the big sister he's wanted me to be.
Calvin Britt- I love you with all my heart! Keep making me proud, and....
Happy 16th Birthday, Brat!
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